You Never Know

Today while shopping in Walmart I got a horrible call from my husband (he was in Hawaii for business). He had just received news that his younger brother had passed away. The poor cashier must have thought I was having a breakdown as I cried while checking out. Todd was only 39 years old and has a 13 yr old son and 9 yr old daughter. Now to hear that your brother has died is one thing, but to hear that he took his own life is another.

Todd was in the middle of a divorce and we knew that he was struggling and had been depressed (who isn't when their life is being turned upside down), but we didn't realize it was that bad. My hubby is having a hard time and feeling like he should have known, seen the signs or something. Todd lived hundreds of miles away so there is no way we could have seen the signs. When someone dies from sickness or in an accident, well I can understand that to a point. To think that someones CHOOSES to end their life is heart breaking. To feel that desperate. It breaks our heart to think that he felt that low.

Depression is something that no one can understand unless you've been there, and I've been there.

Why?

Who am I and what makes me think I should have a blog? Well, I'm nobody really. Just another gal out here trying to make it through this crazy thing called life. I'm trying to stay focused and count my blessings. I thought this blog would be a good place to vent, laugh, cry, make new friends and share a little bit about my tiny spot in the world.

I am married to a military man and have 3 wonderful children. ConMan is 13, Zie is 8, and we have a surprise baby Riley who is 7 months old. When I say he was a surprise baby, I mean a really big surprise. Yes i know what causes babies, but had no intentions at the time of having any more kiddos. I was in denial for about 7 of the 9 months. I just kept thinking that it wasn't going to happen (I had had many, many miscarriages). And now here we are with the worlds happiest baby. He is a true joy and I couldn't imagine life without him (okay, maybe a little). This has truly been like starting all over. I'm amazed at the amount of things I have forgotten about having a baby in the house. The fun is just beginning. :)